Teaching Moments

During the Thanksgiving month I tried extra hard to concentrate each day on what I was thankful for. Sometimes it was hard and other times not as hard. What I realized was, even on a bad day there are things to be learned from the experiences in that day. At very least I can be thankful for learning experiences and for chances to teach my children.
Yesterday I had the wonderful opportunity to teach Kailey about treating others with kindness even when we don't want to, about right and wrong, and about repentance and forgiveness.
It started with me having a chance to get on and order some of the presents I wanted for Todd. It took longer then I thought and Kailey and Cope started getting antsy as they are prone to do whenever I get on a computer or on the phone. Soon they were fighting. Although I randomly broke it up, I am ashamed to say I wasn't paying close attention. I was almost done and wanted to quickly finish so I could get completely off the computer. Kailey came in and informed me that Cope was in my room. (The kids aren't allowed in our room without prior permission.) I told her I would be right there. About five minutes later as I was closing down the last window from my last purchase, I heard a door slam and a knob rattle. Cope started crying and Kailey came running into the room. To say I was not thrilled with the next words out of her mouth would be an understatement.
"Mom, Cope is locked in the closet!"
We changed out the door knobs on our closet and replaced it with a heavy duty locking knob to store things we didn't want the kids getting into. Unfortunately at some point the key had been removed and I have no idea where it is so I just keep it unlocked.
"How did that happen?"
She immediately lowered her head in shame and wouldn't look at me. Slowly I pulled the story from her.
She got frustrated with how Cope was acting. Apparently he had knocked down her block tower, and erased her drawing on her magnetic doodle board. So when he went in my room she thought that she might be able to get him in trouble and came running to me. When that didn't work she got mad, locked the closet door, and slammed it in his face.
To make a long story short Cope was in there for quite some time before I finally just decided to take off the door and had my sister-in-law come help me remove the hinge pins and remove the door.
Once he was out I sat down with Kailey and we discussed how being locked in the closet must have made him feel, and what would have happened had I been unable to get him out. We talked about positive ways to deal with frustration and what she should have done instead of slamming a locked door. After we got done with that discussion, Kailey looked at me with her read, puffy, tear covered face and said, "How do I fix it Mom?"
So then I got the wonderful opportunity to teach my child about repentance and the power of forgiveness. She knew she had done something wrong, and she acknowledged that. She obviously felt bad about it, but she didn't know what came next. I explained that just knowing you have done something wrong and feeling bad for it, isn't enough. You must never do it again. She agreed that nothing like this would ever happen again. We talked about confessing and how usually she needed to let the person, in this case Cope, who had been hurt know that she knew she had done something wrong, that she was sorry, and that it would never happen again. She interjected that maybe she should tell Jesus that too. I agreed that was a good idea.
After that was finished she asked if she had been forgiven yet and what exactly forgiveness was, so we talked about making restitution. She decided that in order to make up for it, she would be extra nice to Cope the rest of the day and would help me extra since I lost time trying to get Cope out. Then we talked about forgiveness and how I love her and the Lord loves her no matter what and will forgive her anytime she has done the necessary things to make sure she has repented. So to prove that I meant that, other then telling Todd when he got home, I didn't bring the incident up again. She helped me do dishes, cleaned her room and was extra nice to Cope. She even gave him the last cookie rather then breaking it into two like I said she could.
I am so grateful for the saving principle of repentance in my life. I'm grateful that I got such a wonderful opportunity to teach my child this principle in a way she could understand. I'm grateful for forgiveness and new beginnings and I'm grateful that I have the chance to share those with my children.
So yes, it wasn't fun hearing my son cry in a locked closet and frantically trying to get him out. It wasn't fun pushing my fingers under the door so that he could hold them to help calm him down, but without it such a wonderful learning experience never would have occured. I'm grateful for learning experiences. Now, I just need to find the key so it never happens again. :)

Night Time Chart

 

Just recently on pinterest I found a checklist for night time. I decided to make one to fit our family. If the night is rushed we start at "Put on Pajamas" instead of at the beginning, but the goal is to do everything on the checklist each night so that the rooms, teeth, and children are clean each morning. When they start school full time I will probably add "Lay out clothes" and possibly "Make Lunch." This helps reduce morning time rush, and makes going to bed so much easier. It eliminates their excuse for prolonging the process. Once it is crossed off, it is done. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Exercise

My search for a healthy lifestyle has lead me to exercise. I'm having difficulty with it, as I assume most parents with children do. I have a hard time wanting to spend more then a half hour doing anything because after that point (well actually about fifteen minutes) Kaile and Cope start to get antsy and "bored" so they will start talking, screaming, and singing loudly; non-stop to the point they can no longer be ignored. I know they have figured this out and that is why they do it, but it is hard to ignore. That means that I have about that long for exercise and that is it. Most work-outs take at least an hour. After checking out pinterest I found several routines that had lists of exercises to do. The ones that start with jumping jacks and have about 20 different exercises on them. The whole routine takes over an hour. I realized though that I don't have to do them all at the same time. 50 jumping jacks don't take long and if I took one of those lists and addapted it to me, then I could do the whole list throughout the day and get in more exercise then I am now. In the long run I will need to up the amount I do slightly in order to compensate for the fact that I'm not doing them all together, but for now it is a start.

Here is my list. I'll edit, add to, and rearrange as I go along.

1. Ride Bike (I go around our block twice and then up to the mail box and back before my kids wake up in the morning) 15 min.
2. Jumping jacks 50
3. Russian Twists 50
4. 10 standing push-ups (Will do these against the counter between doing dishes and hitting the next chore.)
5. 40 crunches
6. 20 lunges (Do this while cleaning. I walk from one room to the next cleaning. Now I'll just lunge.)
7. 5 minute wall sit (Can do this while folding laundry.)

I'll try it today and see how it goes! Wish me luck!

Home Made Modgepodge and Etc.

Today I decided I wanted to be crafty. I had a project I'd been putting on hold due to not having any modgepodge. I found a recipe on pinterest for modgepodge, so I thought I'd give it a try.
The project . . . Name plate coasters. I am tired of having to run an extra batch of dishes because each of us used at least five cups during the day. Instead each coaster will have a name on it. Once someone has used a cup it will be put on their coaster. If it is on a coaster it doesn't get washed until the end of the day, and then I always know exactly which cup is mine, Todd's, or Kailey's.
The instructions are simple.
1) Buy some cheep coasters. We got ours from Walmart. You can find them at the dollar store, or any other store, or you can go and get small tiles. Be as creative as you want.
2) Make or buy some modgepodge. I keep leaving town without modgepodge so I made mine.
         There are two different kinds of home-made variations that I've found on pinterest.
        1) *Elmers glue
            * Water
        Take a jar and put one cup elmers glue and one cup water. Shake until it is mixed well.
       2) *1 1/2 Cups flour
           * 1/4 Cup sugar
           * 1 tsp oil (any kind)
           * 1 1/4 Cups water
        Slowly mix all the ingredients over low heat. Don't let boil. If it is too thick add water or oil. The thicker it is the more texture it will have. If you don't want texture add more water or oil.

I made the second one, and made it thick. I added more water/oil and make it thinner as I left the lid off while I was making them, so by the last two it was thicker then I wanted.

Hint: If you don't want texture I'd go with the first variation as the second one, (at least when thick) doesn't dry completely clear.
Here is a picture of the final project. It isn't completely dry at this point, but close to it. When it dried completely the whole name tag was the same color. (A lighter shade of red then I intended do to the modgepodge, but it still looks cute and works.)

So far it has worked great. We still have the same three cups at lunch that we had at breakfast. Yeah!

Comfort and Airplane Rides

This past week the kids and I went to see my family. We flew to my sister's house in Spokane, Washington. I had an idea what flying would be like as both Cope and I were life flighted from San Juan Regional Hospital to Albuquerque, but I'd never been through the ticket or security process.

It was a mostly fun experience. The kids liked the plane, especially the turbulance. They thought it was like "a ride at Disneyland!"  How unlike everyone else that was. Others were annoyed and some even slightly sickened by the plane movement.

The only real hiccup we had was coming back. We got to the Spokane airport and proceeded to go through the security line. Cope has a comfort toy that he likes to sleep with and occasionally carry around. It is a little Simba lion that is wrapped in a blanket and purrs. He got it while we were going to constraint therapy for two weeks and were away from Daddy. He clung to it then and hasn't let it go since. It has been so well loved that the back stitch came undone and I used thick thread to stitch it back up in hopes it wouldn't come undone again. So when I went to put it in the bin, he was a little upset that I had to take it away, but he just whined and let it go.

We went through the metal detector without an issue, and I started to put everything back in the bag and put our shoes back on. The lion came through last. I saw the person running the machine get a confused/curious/disgruntled look on her face. She reached around and took the lion out of the bin and looked it over. Finding the handstitched seam across the back she turned to the lady standing in the back and said, "can we hold a stuffed animal? Is that even in the protocol?"

The lady in the back was taking round paper looking circles and swiping them on random items that came through and then she'd put the circles in a different machine, wait for a minute, take the round paper out and throw it away and then get another paper and start again. She said, "we can hold anything, but what could possibly be wrong with a stuffed animal?"

At first that is what I wanted to know, what in the world could they possibly find wrong with my sons lion!  They turned away and started whispering though, so I couldn't hear the response. I said, "Please don't take his lion, it's his comfort toy!"

After standing there for a little while, I realized that the problem was probably that the machine showed the purring thing inside it, meaning she saw there was something inside the lion and then directly where there was something inside, there was a handstitched section. I could see how that looked really bad.

I tried to explain that to the ladies, but they just asked me to please go stand by the elevator. They would let me know what was going on once they had investigated further. We waited for a good ten minutes more at least. The lady who was in the back with the round circles finally brought me back Cope's lion. She said it came up clean, so we were free to go. I was so relieved they gave it back to us. Bed time would have been interesting had they chose not to.   

I thought how like everyday life this is. Sometimes we get the thing that gives us the most comfort taken from us. Sometimes we succeed in getting back and other times we have to find something new to give us the comfort we need. Sometimes we hit turbulance and sometimes it's a smooth ride. No matter how my life is I hope I can be like my kids and love the ride especially when turbulance hits; especially when things change and are no longer comfortable.

Baby Books

I have been making my kids baby books. I decided for each child I would do a 0-12 month book, and then each year we also make a family book of pictures of all the important events we had that year. We didn't start that until 2010 though so I am missing four years, but that's alright. So I finished my kids birth to a year and it got me to thinking . . . if I adopt and we don't get a baby, how am I going to make that fair? I decided we would just document the first twelve months they are with us, and I'll include any pictures that I may get of childhood before they found us and we found them. Hopefully it works out okay and they are happy with whatever I can give them. I already love flipping through my books and I know they will be special to my kids. Kailey already loves looking at "baby Kailey and baby Cope." 

My Issue

I never thought I would be one of those people. You know the ones, they get angry over and issue, and they push and push and push at it. Constantly bringing it up. Adding it to conversations even when the conversation didn't naturally go in that direction. I'm sure people wonder what the big deal is. Life works things out, they'll get to whatever it is. Now I guess I understand a little better. When it is your own child, or your own life they are leaving to "get to it," it is hard to just sit and wait. The only way anything will change with any rapidity is if someone goes and gives it a shove in the right direction. I now feel that way about pediatric medical advancements. I just got some of Cope's medical records. I have requested the rest and am just waiting for them to call. When I get them I'm going to set a timeline and fact sheet of 1) what the doctors and nurses told me, 2) what the records show they knew, but didn't tell me, 3) in hindsight what was most likely going on, and 4) if he would have been an adult instead of an infant what protocol and measures they would have taken and how that would have changed his outcome and prognosis. With that in mind I will show that medical treatment in the pediatric realm needs to catch up to the adult sector. I believe that if we were even a few years farther advanced in our pediatric medicine, that my son would not have brain damage or at least not have the amount he now lives with. I am grateful for the medicine we do have. I am grateful my son is alive, and I'm blessed to have such a special child. He has taught me so much, but I know this is a burden now and will continue to be one, and as a mother I would do anything if I could relieve that burden. I don't want other mother's to have to watch their children struggle with dailey activities that other kids find simple tasks, when it could have been avoided.
So, that is my "issue," well one of them anyway. Maybe sometime I'll let you know the rest but for right now, I'll post what I find as soon as I get his records so check back!

Discipline 2

So, I haven't gotten a timer yet, but already it is going much better. The only thing I have done differently, is instead of getting mad at Kailey when she yells at me or says things that aren't nice, I have been turning on church hymns. I continue to play the same hymn over and over until I hear her singing it. Once she sings it I come in tell her she wasn't being nice and ask for her to tell me sorry. If she has calmed down enough to sing I find she has calmed down enough to realize she was being mean. It has really changed the mood in our house a lot already.

Discipline

Right now I'm struggling with my four year old, Kailey. She is what would be considered a strongwilled child. Although I know that is good, sometimes it can be hard, so I've been reading to see if I can find discipline tactics that would work better then what we are using. She is refusing to stay in time-outs and she will just tell me "no" quite often. I found this article on pinterest http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/positive-discipline/Parenting-Strong-Willed-Child. Although insiteful, it really didn't tell me any good discipline ideas to help with behaviors that I can't compromise. Here's an example, if Kailey doesn't get a nap she is aweful by the end of the day. She misbehaves for no apparent reason and will cry over any circumstance that doesn't go her way, so I've come to the conclusion that she has to have a nap. She has decided that she doesn't need naps, so most days I spend at least fourty-five minutes putting her in bed, telling her she has to listen, putting her in time-out and trying to make sure she stays there. It stresses me out and makes the whole mood in the house deteriorate within minutes of the process. It also takes Cope three times as long to get to sleep, because he hears Kailey yelling and crying at me. "You're making me mad because I don't want to go to bed." (She is very good at telling me exactly what she is feeling, whether she be mad, sad, happy, frustrated.)
I found this site http://imom.com/parenting/tweens/parenting/training/21-creative-consequences/, and so I'm going to try and few of their ideas and I'll let you know how it goes. I'm going to go buy an egg timer and am going to set the timer for her. I'll use it for setting the table, cleaning her room (which are her two chores), and nap time so that she knows it is coming. I'm also going to try using the timer when she throws fits about something that is not time sensitive (ie: she can't go somewhere.) I'll tell her she has to throw a fit for 10 minutes and then I'll see how that works. She has started screaming yelling and crying whenever she doesn't get her way (which is often at our house.) I've already tried allowing her to go outside and then letting her scream and yell until she feels like she is done. She can come back in whenever she wants. That doesn't seem to be working now that the novelty of going outside has worn off, so let's hope the timer does.
The only thing I still haven't found another tactic for is when she is throwing a tantrum because she doesn't want to do something time sensitive (ie: go to therapy, take a nap.) I thought about the timer or time-ins, but they are still just a stalling method so she doesn't have to do the thing she doesn't want to as quickly. Any other suggestions or ideas for that one would be awesome!

Disneyland

Since it has been over a week since we got home from two weeks of Constraint Induced Therapy, and a week of Disneyland, I thought I would start adding a few pictures from Disneyland. Here will just be a few of the family ones. If you wish to see child specific, please go to their page to find more.

One of the kids favorite rides was the Carrousel. (There are several rides I will call one of their favorites.) This is one of my favorite pictures that Todd took. Cope, Kailey and I are all in the picture.

We were all on the train and are all in this picture. Poor Kailey was still feeling sick so she is the pink laying on the bench next to me.

We loved the beach. The kids loved having the water "chase" them as the tides came in and out.

The first character we came in contact with.

We had a hard time getting Cope to look at the camera. He was fascinated with the cars.

We road on the boat. It was colder and the Kailey was still sick so we chose more mellow rides that day.

Cope's favorite part of Toontown was getting to "drive" the cars that were around.

I love these two pictures of my little family.

In the picture below we are riding the teacups. Todd was trying really hard to get us all in the picture. Cope kept moving his head so not much of him is in the picture.

The picture below is us in front of one of the kids favorite rides. It was "spaceships" that went in a circle, much like the dumbo ride, only shorter lines. I was tickling Cope in the picture.

This was the kids very favorite ride. Mickeys' Fun Wheel. It was a Ferris Wheel, but each cage was on a track as well so we would swing back and forth as the wheel turned. So much fun!

Cope loved being behind the glass!

We found Mickey with no line! Awesome!

This was our princess meal. Cinderella was the only princess who asked to take a picture with Cope as well.

Kailey was "mad" so she refused to smile for this one. I love how saying you'll be done riding rides for the day automatically makes a "mad" child a "happy" one.

This was on the little circus train.

This is a panoramic veiw of California Adventures at night. The big purple wheel with Mickey in the middle was Mickey's Fun Wheel, and the kids favorite ride.

Playing in the Snow

Took the kids out to play in the snow today.
One thing I realized, never try and put a glove on a child who has had a stroke and doesn't use their hand much. It was next to impossible to do.

Notice his right hand in the picture. I guess I need to get him mittens. I finally left his hand bunched up in a ball inside the glove and quit trying to distribute the fingers.
Cope hated the snow. As soon as I sat him down in it he began to cry.

I helped him make a snow angel and that is about the extent I could get him to "play" in the snow.

The top one is a close up of Cope's. The second one is Kailey and Cope's. Cope's is on the left and Kailey's is the bigger one, on the right.

                                              
                                               

I took him back inside and he took a nap while Kailey and I finished playing.

She made a snow man, with a little help, and then we went inside for hot chocolate and lunch.

Happiness

With the spirit of Thanksgiving still in the air, I started going over all the things that make me happy in my life. Today I am especially thankful for my little family.
My daughter for the first time in at least six months asked for me to pick her up. When she was little I couldn't wait till' she didn't ask anymore; now it has become a precious moment to be cherished. I resolve to never again take for granted those moments I get to sit quietly and hold my children. Those moments when I can read them stories on my lap and tickle them till' they laugh so hard we are both laughing, are the moments I am truly happy.  I will try harder today to be thankful for all the little things. Tomorrow these moments will be faint happy memories. May I be happy with my multitude of happy moments today, rather then regret those times I could have been happy and wasn't.

Welcome

The purpose of this blog is . . . well it has lots of purposes.

1) I want to be  able to increase my writing exposure. I thought getting on wikihow and then creating a blog would be a good start. I love writing in all forms, but what I enjoy more is editing. I love to take a red pin . . . or click on the editing tab and tear a paper apart. If you've ever had me edit a paper you know I mean that literally. For me the more red the better, and the best part is I use that theory on myself as well. I'm not the best writer. I make mistakes, especially when I'm typing. Sometimes what I say doesn't make sense, but when I'm able to take what I've written and tear it apart, then usually what I write turns out to be something worth reading.

2) I want to be able to use this blog as a sounding board for those who need it. Life is hard, but it can be easier if we know that others have similar struggles. No one has the exact same hurdles in their life but many are similar. There may be parents out there who like me have had to figure out how to get a child who refuses to sleep to go to bed, parents who have had a child who had a stroke, parents who have been told they can't or shouldn't have anymore children, parents who are looking at adoption. The list could continue for pages. I've had many struggles in my life, but I've also had many joys. Joy greater then I thought I ever could have. Joys that outnumber the struggles. I want this site to be a place to share the struggles with the joy, to give those struggling hope.

3)This will be a place to brag. I have the most wonderful family in the world and therefore have the right to brag about them. So yes, this site will include what awesome children I have and how amazing my husband is.

4) This will be a place of ideas. The more heads together the better ideas are, so as I find good ideas, recipes, crafts, pictures . . . pretty much anything I like I will be adding.

The basic purpose is for each person who visits to leave knowing that there is more to a person then what appears at first glance.

Here is what I have created on my blog so far:
*  I have a Writer's Corner. I'm going to try and give grammatical rules, writers tips, and information I find. I'll start with one or two a month depending on the time I have. Click on the picture of my daughter writing for the first time, and it will take you there. Under what I have written is a place for comments and questions. Feel free to leave them!
* Right under the main picture are sites that I like and pages that I've created. If you click on the name it will take you to the site or page.
At the bottom of the page is my brag column for my kids. Click on their picture to get their monthly updates.
* Each month I will also do a post. It will be on whatever I want, but if you have a question or requests feel free to comment under the previous months post and let me know. More will be coming in the future.

This site will be a constant evolving project, but for now welcome to my blog!